A lot has happened since my last post. A lot that I've wanted to document on here, but seems like every time I open this window I forgot what I was going to post.
Well today's different. I actually remember what I wanted to say - yay!
We (mainly I) have been praying a lot about home school recently. It's something we embarked on after over a year of prayer and lots of confirmation from God (love it when He does that). Well, four years later our zeal and love has fizzled a bit. It's daunting to stay on top of what the kids are learning, making sure it all adheres to state standards, recognizing learning (and teaching) flaws and finding out new ways to manage them, and constantly find ways to have their love of learning grow.
There's a lot of pressure associated with home schooling - they learn everything from us. We can't blame the school system, lack of time for subjects in school or anyone else for our children's ill education. It's all up to us, and that's an enormous task - espcially while raising four children, keeping a household going, and me working full time and going to school part time. Some weeks are a blur, and I hate that - because I like to take time to relish each day God has given me.
As I've been praying and doing my morning studies, I've been reminded that I felt a strong pull on my heart and a strong call from God to do this. Now granted, my husband shoulders a majority of the duties as he's home with them during the day, but none the less - it's something we felt called, and honored by God, to do.
I'm reminded of the Israelites and how God called them to the promised land. Instead of running with opened arms, they stood in fear of a few beefy men occupying their promised land. Instead of running toward what God had called them to do, they mumbled. They complained about their angel food cake and fresh poultry, worshipped a golden calf, and took for granted all that God provided for them.
This is kind of how we've been. Mumbling about not having much free time because we're teaching our precious children. Grumbling about the stress of making sure they have enough work to do while allowing them the free time to absorb it all. Fearing their year-end tests that we'll be deemed "unsuitable teachers". Not sure of what we'll do next year.
In remembering we felt called to do this, I've been thinking about how we should respond to God's calling. Not with grumbling and mumbling, but with joy and thanksgiving. Working all that we do as if we're working for Him. Finishng the race He set before us - and finishing it well. If I'm mumbling within about something He calls me to do, I'm not setting a good example for my children to follow and am certainly not pleasing God. He's more concerned with the inward than the outward. I may be following His call on the outside, but mumbling and grumbling inside do not follow His plan.
Now, I look to schooling the children as an honor, a great adventure that we get to embark on. It's like holding a great and valued secret, having it bubble and swell inside of you and only being able to share it with a select few.
If anyone reading this finds themselves with love fizzling out, remember the race and the task God has set before you - finish it and finish it well.
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